More media county grumbles

Michael Vaughan’s recent comments on the state of the County game have stirred up the debate about domestic cricket. David Lloyd has jumped on the bandwagon on his blog for Sky Sports, having long been in favour of reducing the number of first class counties.

This is all very well, but cricket’s media personalities and former players have been calling for such changes for time immemorial.  English cricket doesn’t give a damn.  As Vaughan himself says:

The county chairmen are the most powerful people in the game and until that changes they are always going to look after their own interests, so I think that there are always going to be 18 counties.

If people want this to change badly enough, and it is so obviously in the interest of the greater good of English cricket, why is there no organised movement to force it through?  We don’t hear much about any serious lobbying happening, there are no organised petitions that I am aware of.  The PCA make noises every now and again, but English cricket is no more likely to listen to them.

So, in the spirit of setting the ball rolling, here are some potential protests I will be suggesting:

  1. Bob Willis chained to the Grace Gates before the next Lord’s Test match.  Those gates have to be opened no matter what, so watch those stewards tear him limb from limb.
  2. The England team’s bats to be switched for those miniature ones they sell in the county gift shops.  Each one to be inscribed “with love from Giles Clarke”.
  3. Media to begin using alternate nicknames for each county.  Lancashire Laxatives anyone?
  4. On the media’s scorecards, four players from every county to be listed as “Johnny Makeweight”.  Or, better still, Johan Makeweight.  These names to be additionally used in some commentary.
  5. An official protest march to visit each county ground in turn.  The official slogan to be “What do we want?  Gradual Change.  When do we want it?  In due course”.

Further suggestions welcome.