How to win the Ashes Step 8

How do you protect you best players from an injury that could ruin your Ashes campaign? Today we look at an easy method to minimise the risk of a torn meniscus. (Please note that this step in no way guarantees freedom from injury)

8. Presumably you have decided that Andrew Flintoff is the key to winning the Ashes (possibly the answer to world peace as well, but whatever). Whether this is right or wrong, it would be prudent to have a team of servant to attend to his every need. As he is (whisper it quietly) rather injury prone, it might be wise to have a large amount of cotton wool on hand to wrap him in if you see anything dangerous. The only thing he should be allowed to do is bowl. Prepare for the fact that your efforts may still not be enough, as Freddie is capable of injuring himself simply through the power of thought.